I’ve been wanting to write one of these out for quite some time now and after reading Grace’s over at Camp Patton I decided to just go forth and do it. This seems like the most boring read ever, but I know I love reading other moms so maybe some other weirdo will be interested (that’s you Blythe).
Funny thing is that today wasn’t that typical.There were more easy naps, treats, and Daniel plus less tantrums, losing my mind and cooking than usual. Enjoy my run-on sentences and inconsistant tense use. Here we goooooo
5:45am: Atlas wakes next to me and snoozes until 6 alternating between his bottle and paci. I can tell his diaper has leaked really bad by the dampness of his pjs smushed into my arm (thank you nighttime bottles).
6am: I roll over to escape Atlas and hoping that maybe he’ll just fall asleep, but when I roll over Ollie’s head is right there inching its way over to try and lay on top of me and I push him as far over to Daniel as I can.
6:05am: Cat fight in the other room
6:10am: I decide today is the day to document.
6:10-6:30 : repeatedly stop Atlas from crawling over me to wake up Oliver and Daniel with one hand (do this every single morning) while praying the morning offering and scrolling through tumblr with the other. (Reminds me of One Hand by Alanis Morissette (is that what it’s called?) and Kirby singing it at his and Blythe’s housewarming party after they got married forever ago).
6:30am: Ollie sleep slaps my hand and when I say, “HEY!” he says, “So sorry, mama. So sorry.” And falls back to sleep.
6:36am: Ollie wakes up and I set Atlas loose to crawl on Daniel.
6:40am: “Ollie what do you want to do today?” “Pray.” “Aw, pray!” “No, play. Play with cars.”
6:45am: can’t hold my pee any longer and somehow Daniel still hasn’t woken up from Atlas jumping on him (he did whisper “Hi baby, stoppppp”), so I get up.
6:45-7am: pee and brush teeth, change Atlas’ first poop diaper of the day, Ollie decides he wants to use the big potty (not his little one- thank you Daniel Tiger), gets angry that he doesn’t have any pee and when I try to reason with him he shushes me and says that dada is nightnight and to be quiet, I decide to make sugarless banana muffins because Daniel gave up sweets. Fold some towels and throw in a load of laundry.
7-7:30am: make muffins. Ollie complains that he doesn’t want a muffin so bad and then that he wants a muffin but not to cook it and then he wants a muffin but with sugar and chocolate.
7:30am: laundry, try to get Ollie to pee again which he says he does but I didn’t hear anything, tell Daniel that I’m doing this today and read him what I have and he claims that he’s been awake since Atlas jumped on him
8:00am: muffins turned out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
8:15am: put on Winnie the Pooh
8:30am: clean up breakfast (as in put the dishes in the sink), make our bed until Atlas follows me in and we wrestle on the bed. I should be happy that he isn’t interested in watching TV but…
8:45am: take Ollie to the potty but nothing and ~brush my hair~ and change Atlas’ second poop diaper
8:55am: clean up peepee accident
9:00am: transfer birth stories to Wilber huset tumblr while failing to fix one of Ollie’s toys.
9:15am: Atlas gets hurt and while comforting him I see a mysterious glob under the coffee table. I take a mental note to examine it at some point. Play cars with the boys
9:25am: track package that’s getting delivered today for the hundredth time. “Out for Delivery” isn’t specific enough.
9:30am: fill up atlas’ bottle for nap and we only have 2oz of raw milk left. Hopefully it’s enough!
Atlas also says “buh” (translation:ball), take Ollie to pee before putting Atlas down (no pee), search for Atlas’ pacis (see mystery glob again)
9:45am: alternate paci and bottle (nursed for .5 seconds) and sing “You Are My Sunshine” and he’s out in 5 min. He must know I’m doing this because it’s never this easy to get him down for a nap. Ollie, as usual, comes and tries to sneak in while I’m putting Atlas to sleep.
9:45-10:20am: Atlas napped, Ollie and I drew cars, played with blocks, tried to go peepee (nope), laundry
10:20-11am: got dressed and ready, made lunch plans with Daniel, lost my mind, went to make a turkey sandwich and remembered it’s Friday
11-11:20am: made a pbj instead, peeped Nature’s Grill menu, Ollie peed in the little potty, got everyone ready
11:30-12:45pm: pick up Daniel and head to Nature’s Grill. Nachos and a chocolate shake to go. (Both consistent cravings I’ve had this pregnancy). Daniel tried to order himself a chocolate shake which was when I kindly reminded him nope. Drive over to Marina Park. Get wind blasted. Sour cream and guac all over my pants. Ollie refuses food and only wants to swing. Cries when we tell him it’s time to go because he wants to go on this weird wobbly object that adults are on. Compromise with him going down the big kid slide. Waits until we’re leaving to go up to kids to smugly show them his cars. Talk really loudly in the car so Atlas won’t fall asleep. Pull up and unload everyone and realize I forgot to pick up the milk.
1:00pm: put a tiny bit of water in Atlas’ bottle to water down the remaining 1.5oz and try to get Ollie to eat something but alas, “peanut butter sandwich is just too hard”.
1:10pm: “I want a cookie.” Try to explain the difficult concept that you can’t have a cookie until you finish your sandwich.
1:20pm: see that mystery glob again. Ollie calls me over “Mama! I miss you. Hang out with me.” Talk about cars with Ollie and remind him to put the game away because he knows Dada told him to not play with the video game cases. Tell him it’s time for his nap to which he responds he can’t because he’s going to finish his sandwich.
1:30pm: change Atlas’ 3rd poop diaper-blowout and give him the thermometer as a distraction and he somehow made it Celsius, read Ollie some books and tucked him in (sandwich still not finished)
2:00pm: they are both asleep (Atlas nursed for 5 seconds this time +paci/bottle rotation) and Daniel came home early because the office was too loud, whoop! (Except he is just working here…)
2:35pm: I’ve watched half an episode of Pretty Little Liars and caught up on insta/texts/fb when Atlas wakes up.
2:45pm: He’s back to sleep and I’m back to PLL and chocolate covered bananas (trader joes finest)
3:20pm: Atlas wakes up right as PLL ends. We hang with Luna.
3:30-3:45pm: pick up milk
3:50pm: Ollie wakes up (huge nap! So rare)
4-4:20pm: whiny whiny hungry babies. We have a snack and watch Dada play some Lego Superheroes
Sorta cleaned up that glob. Guess what it was?
4:30pm: think about that package again and double check the tracking… Why do my packages always get delivered at the end of the day?? Never at the top of the delivery list.
Lol, guess it was delivered even though we were in the living room with the blinds open and didn’t see the delivery. Glad I checked the tracking…
4:30-5pm: organize toys and fold laundry. Confession: The Walking Dead kind of traumatized me and whenever I fold laundry I think how what if this is the only set of clothes we had to survive on. I’m crazy. That’s why I don’t watch it anymore. I also think how to secure my house and which would be the best escape route. On a way better note, I stare at these onesies I got at the PPB sample sale and dream of my baby girl. Meanwhile the boys play with Legos and I have to continuously remind Ollie to clean the Legos before dumping out his trains.
“I don’t want to be big big boy two times to clean Legos. Like the hulk, I’m big boy but no clean the Legos. Shh shh, no no talking. I want to peek on Dada taking shower see Dada close his eyes….. (Runs to Daniel and opens the door) Dada, close your eyes!”
5:05pm: resolve to just help him clean up. While cleaning I find some KFC extra crispy skin amongst the Legos. #anotherkirbyfikedailyreminder
5:15pm: remember I wanted to go to target to get more calendula cream for Atlas’ diaper rash and huge drool rash. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Try to facilitate playing with trains but as always it’s a disaster of Atlas tearing it apart. Ollie tries to get out another toy and I remind him to clean up first and then he yells at me and I make him take a break in the other room. Thinking from here on out it’s going to be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. ~tantrum~
5:30-6:15pm: went on a walk with everyone (atlas’ first time in an umbrella stroller!), checked out the community garden, fed a neighbor bunny, shopped at Fresh & Easy for scrounge dinner (should note that Ollie brought that pbj with him and it’s fate ended up being tossed at the F&E checkout)
6:30pm: lost my mind part 2, kicked everyone out of the kitchen/away from me, cooked a half ass dinner of hash browns and eggs for the boys, Daniel chose to have pretzel rolls and olives (who’s the pregnant one?) and a frozen pizza for me. #friday
6:45pm: eat dinner and notice my tendinitis arm is starting to act up. Ollie eats his hash brown but no eggs.
7:00pm: fake cry in the other room while Ollie looks for me. While he’s hugging me I tell him how I’m just so sad because I cooked dinner and he hasn’t eaten it and how I really want him to be able to have dessert. Immediately he runs and starts eating his eggs . #desperate
7-7:30pm: dinner dishes to the sink, hear Luna fight outside and let her in (guess she ran out when we were letting in some fresh air?), change Atlas’ fourth poop diaper and put him in his pjs. Read a book and fill up his bottle. Have Daniel download he new disney app to get a free download of The Incredibles.
7:30-7:50pm: Put Atlas to bed (nursed 1 sec and paci/bottle singing deal)
8:00pm: edit photos and munch on a treat while we watch The Incredibles.
8:30-9pm: Send Ollie off to bed with Daniel while I edit this and wait for my computer to charge so I can put it all together.
Plans for the night are to watch an episode of True Detective if we don’t fall asleep and post this ramble. Bless you if you read this. Can’t believe I ate so bad today. I guess the nachos were okieeee. My day went from sugarless banana muffins to a personal mama celeste pizza. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯