Brave Self Care: Goal Setting and Coaching With Charissa

I want to tell you all about something I jumped into earlier this month that really was so eye opening and changing for me mentally + spiritually and it’s thanks to the encouragement and coaching from my new friend, Charissa Pomrehn at Brave Self Care.

Charissa is a life coach for moms who reached out to me about us getting to know each other and offer her services as a gift and at first I was a bit hesitant thanks to the ol’ pride of mine thinking that I don’t see how I could benefit from a self care coach, but once I pushed that aside, I decided that I would love the try this out and see where it would take me. Also, I was kind of confused on what a self care coach actually does, so let me explain a bit if you’re wondering just as I was. She works with you to find clarity on what fills you up and how to find time time for yourself which us moms really struggle with sometimes. You also plan out practical steps together on how to make your self care goal, whatever it may be, become a reality and achievable.

So we decided on the this package and I scheduled mine and Charissa’s 90 minute call where we would hash out and plan out all the details surrounding the goal I was making as well as filling out some background in the information packet regarding what areas in my life I feel I am thriving in and which areas I want to work on which was beyond helpful.

As our call approached, I could NOT think of a goal I wanted to set out to accomplish with her. I naturally am very goal oriented and self-motivating so typically once I make up my mind to do something, it usually happens. However, through becoming more self-aware by learning more about personality types, I’ve come to realize that I also tend to get in my way and self-sabotage if my goal gets unpleasant or difficult. So I was thinking and thinking what could my goal be and then one morning, thanks to pregnancy insomnia, I woke up at 5:30am for the day and it was absolute bliss. I read the daily Mass readings, caught up on a few emails, and most importantly, sat in silence. Once the kids woke up around 6:30am, I was mentally ready to handle the day and didn’t feel like I was starting out empty. For the longest time I have heard about the benefits of waking up before your kids to start the day more centered rather than waking up to kids jumping on you to get up and make breakfast but I had always made excuses of going to bed too late, not sleeping well, kids waking up too many times through the night, anything that pointed to it not being a good time to start this practice. But after realizing what a difference it makes and how crabby I normally am when I am woken up by the kids, I knew this had to be the goal I worked on with Charissa as my coach.

 

So during our call, we discussed the informational packet I filled out beforehand, the process, and lastly, all the areas surrounding making my goal into manageable steps and into something achievable. What I LOVED about Charissa is that she is knowledgeable in personality types so it was easy talking about ways I naturally thrive and struggle and how that would play a role in achieving my goal and even foreseeing practical and emotional issues that may arise along the way.

 

For 2 weeks I practiced my goal of waking up early and it really was as life changing as everyone says. I noticed I was such a better wife and spouse when I had that quiet time every morning. Charissa would check in with me during the 2 weeks so see how I was doing and at the end of the 2 weeks, we had a 30 minute call to wrap up our work together and talk through the successes and challenges of my specific goal and how I was going to move forward with it.

 

Charissa offers a free 30 minute consultation so if you are feeling like this is something that will benefit you (let me just tell you, IT IS), reach out to her and learn more on how you and her can make your self care a priority.

 

You can follow her over on Instagram and find more info on her website, Brave Self Care.

 

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Unfortunately, no photos were taken while practicing my new morning routine because I was busy self caring, so here’s one my husband took of me at the Tate Modern on our ultimate self care trip to Paris + London back in June.

 

 

7QT: Spooky Story, San Diego, + Primmy’s Days

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1. Home Alone

Daniel had to go to New York for 4 days last week and whenever he leaves, something annoying always happens. Let me paint the picture for you. It was a spooky 10pm in my spooky house on a spooky Wednesday night where I was in my spooky living room watching some not spooky romcom when I heard a loud, “CCCCCCRRRRRRRACK! BANG!” from our side yard. #1 benefit from having a dog is to keep me safe when Daniel is gone, so I selflessly sent Poppy out into the backyard to investigate because if it was a murderer or average human, she’d go nuts, but if it was safe she would silently come back to me. Luckily it was the latter and I went out and saw that my neighbors tree had fallen over onto our fence. -_____-

Good thing that came from it was Atlas got to watch a group of men cut down a tree a few days later and now wants a chainsaw.

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2. San Diego

While Daniel was gone, I took the kids down to San Diego for a night because we had a meeting with a doctor down there (all is well!). Anywho, we survived the drive thanks to Jim Dale + JK Rowling, even though for some reason I just hate that drive so much. We stopped by the first mission, Mission San Diego de Alcala, since visiting all 21 missions is a life goal and it was really pretty! (FYI, Carmel Mission is by far the best I’ve been to). I also drug the kids to this ice cream shop so I could finally try rolled ice cream but sad for them, the only soft serve flavor they had was charcoal vanilla or “grey vanilla” as I told them. We went to our hotel in Carlsbad (after trudging through even more traffic), swam at the pool, ordered room service, and lost our minds* during bedtime.

*only mine was lost because they just wouldn’t stop goofing off.

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Next morning we checked out the amazing Starbucks in Oceanside where I had another new milestone of publicly disciplining and yelling at my kid (Prim) who was mad she couldn’t carry a bag so she ran from me on one side of the car to the other and into the street. I say milestone because I’m in the mom camp of quiet threats and sneaky too tight handholding. So that was a sight, but we stopped on the way at Downtown Disney to walk around and go to the Lego Store since my kids are obsessed. Also took a photo with a parrot in front of Rainforest Cafe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Long story short, I lost my temper too much, but we survived and the ending of the story isn’t so grim because the kids got a couple new lego minifigures and a sparkly Elsa ball.

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Primrose is 3!

Zero

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One

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Two

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Three

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My number 1 lady, Primrose Lucia, is 3 today! I know I sound like a broken record, but HOW IS MY YOUNGEST 3! Quite ironically she was born during NFP week— my surprise when I found out I was pregnant with her when Atlas was only 5 months old to now having successfully used NFP to have a 3 year gap between her and baby 4.

Her birth was magical (aka not traumatic like the first 2) and it gives me hope that is can be repeated this time around.

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She is the absolute sweetest thing, but knows how to go from zero to screaming toddler in no time. She still sucks her thumb like she did in her ultrasound photo and lugs around this raggedy pillow as her lovey.

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She has a deep love for pink, kitties, bread, and extra girly princess-y things. She loves pretend play like pretending she has a fake mom and sister that lives at her “old house”, making coffee and hot chocolate for everyone, or pushing her sick other sister, Cheetah, around in the stroller to perform check ups where cheetah usually just has a diagnosis of too much ear wax or needs some essential oils.

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Primmy has such a deep love for her brothers and often calls them “her boys” and easily follows their lead while also holding her own. Although, she probably averages a good 15 cries before nap time because “he looked at me!”, “he touched my pillow!”, “he is pretending to be scary!”, etc etc on repeat all day long.

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She’s fierce. She’s loyal. She’s hilarious. She’s caring. She’s chatty. She’s the best. Like all the babes, I can’t imagine life without her and she is still the best surprise we’ve ever received.

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A nice little scroll through her life so far:

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Happy birthday dearest Primrose!

 

 

Here is her first ever birthday video!

 

Saint Anne and the Baby Dream

Popping in 2 days in a row! Look at me! I have to share the last 24 hour and how much peace the Saint Anne novena has already brought me.

 

31 weeks

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Remember yesterday how I wrote how I am experiencing the nightly, end of pregnancy anxiety of realizing I am going to have to give birth again? Okay— so my main intention with this novena is all surrounding this birth and trying to find peace (plus praying to please please please have another successful medicated birth). Anyway, last night I had the most amazing (and kind of weird) dream. Dreams are big for me and often a place where I find peace, knowledge, and actually grow closer to God.

Well last night I had a dream that I was in a doctors office looking at a new ultrasound photo of baby boy that was so realistic. I was swooning over how cute he looks when the nurse? doctor? lady said, “Well here, you can look at him.” and I look down and he is outside of me on the exam bed. As soon as I look into his eyes, he gives me the hugest smile— I’m talking like he is a 2-3 month old— and he is just so cute and familiar. Like yes, of course this is him! He has the same shape face as Ollie and Atlas, but with Ollie’s skin tone. His cheeks are no where near how jolly and plump Oliver’s were, but not as trim as Atlas’ were either. His eyes are really dark, more like Atlas’ color but his eye shape is similar to Prim’s. He has a big tuft of hair on top of his head, like Atlas did, but the sides are thin like how Ollie’s hair was.

Combo of these three photos (Oliver, Atlas, Primrose):

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Anyway, we are both just beaming at each other and I ask him, “Are you _____ (baby name we think we’ve settled on)? Is that your name?” and he smiled super big and started kicking his legs all excitingly and it clicked to me that I think we finally have his name now. So I pick him up and start nursing him and he keeps giving me those sly nursing smiles. I keep being in awe of how chill and happy he is. I change his diaper and the nurse doctor lady comes back in the room and says, “Okay, it’s time to put him back in. You’ll get to see him again in 9 weeks!” and I so don’t want to hand him back over to go back into my stomach (lol), but I give him a kiss and wake up.

I woke up around sunrise and was just so at peace. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in worrying about birth, that I forget the joy of having and holding my baby at the end of it. It felt like such a divine gift and reminder that this is what I have to look forward to. I also have dreamt what each of my babies (and some of my friends babies) have looked like and it’s usually pretty accurate so I can’t wait to see if that is what he looks like.

Baby boy was so similar to this photo of Atlas:

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Another special gift on this second day of the novena was an amazing appt with my OB. Local friends that also see him know that he isn’t chatty and is known for not the best bedside manner, but that he is such an advocate and defender of  YOU and your baby and what you want when it’s time to deliver your baby. Well today he was SO talkative and really wanted to hear so much more about my previous births and after explaining how I’m traumatized from Ollie and Atlas’ births (tldr; stuck at 9.5cm for 10 hours plus NICU + stuck again at 9.5cm plus ring of fire) that I feel like I’m not going to get another birth like Prim’s and I’m really anxious about it, he says to me, “Okay, I want you to know that’s not going to happen this time and I’m not going to let that happen this time [the boys births]. If you’re wanting this, we can get things going at 39 weeks. You can have your child care all set up so you don’t have to think about it and as soon as you have the slightest signs of labor, I’ll get you in the hospital and hooked up to that epidural. I don’t want you worrying about this.” and I say, “That is EXACTLY what I want.” and try not to burst into tears of relief. So basically the dream birth I typed out yesterday is the one he described he can make happen for me today. (Annoying note: I know it probably won’t go exactly as planned and there is only so much control in birth, but still. Joy joy joy.)

 

So there. Such a change in mood from yesterday and really feeling everyone’s prayers and God’s grace upon me right now.

 

Thank you, thank you.

 

 

Little Bit of the Late

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Mid-summer break check in! School starts back up in 5 weeks, guys! I associate school resuming to starting to be on baby high alert and that stressssses me out. Slight relief in the thought that I am only 2 months out from having this baby because I feel like crap everyday. The exhaustion is back where I honestly don’t know how they kids survive 2pm- until Daniel gets home because my daily goal is basically to make it to naptime/quiet time then I’m done for the day. My mystery allergies may have been solved because Daniel super trimmed back our Brugmansia aka angel’s trumpets aka toxic plant from our bedroom window and my night allergies have stopped! So at least I’m no longer wheezing every night… but I’ve also gotten to the point of being mildly depressed at night at the thought of having to birth another baby. Dream birth for me would be me going in bright and early on the Friday before my due date to my OBs office, getting my membranes swept (haven’t done this before and my babies are all late so wishful thinking), going into labor, getting checked in at the hospital and getting an epidural ASAP, have the baby by that night and slip into the weekend where I’m not stressing about child care while I’m in the hospital not feeling a damn thing cuddling my babe.  The Saint Anne novena starts today and it really got me thorough Prim’s end of pregnancy and birth (Prim’s born on her feast day, July 26!). That novena is so beautiful and powerful. Saint Anne, the Blessed Mother’s mama, is the patroness of pregnancy, birth, and homemakers so she’s a good heavenly friend to have.

Anyway, we don’t have much left we need for the babe and my sweet mom asked me to make a registry for her so she’s been helping out and chipping away at some items which we’re so thankful for. We have a cosleeper we’ve set up for every baby so far that always ends up holding random dirty clothes and toys instead of the baby and the baby ends up in our bed, so this time around I’m hoping the Moses basket route a few feet from our bed will keep the baby in there. I also made a “Before the Baby” small to-do list when I found out we were pregnant that we are almost done with!

Potty Train Prim – check

Night Potty Train Atlas – check

Fix Our Broken Bed – check

Boys Take Swim Lessons – check

Finish Prim’s Baby Book – ….

I’m planning to finish that last one up in the next couple weeks, so it feels good to have these goals done so soon.

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We went to Palm Springs for 2 nights with some friends after 4th of July and it was as great as it always is (deets for another post), but on the way back our van broke down in the 120 degree heat because our auxiliary fan broke. Long story short, our van needed another expensive repair which has been happening like every 2 months for the past 8 months. Fueled by pregnancy nesting and the need for security and safety, we bit the bullet and got the VW Atlas, or Atlas Jr. as we call it.

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What else, what else. Prim has been starting to try to not nap and it’s the absolute worst. Here’s an exclusive photo of Atlas doing what I feel like doing when she won’t fall to sleep. (Everyone was fine, don’t you worry).

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I had like 5 more things I planned to type out and go on and on about, but it IS nap time right now and Prim is needing another reminder to stop singing songs and playing with her stuffed animals and my eyelids are heavy and I have that novena to start and a rosary to squeeze in before our next round of swim lessons that start later today so it’s time to peace out.

 

If you’re looking for more to read, someone re-posted Kate’s Before I Had a Seven Year Old series from a while back on FB which is SO worth a read.

 

Until next time.